May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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