what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
