The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
