she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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