I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
