and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
