I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
