My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Everclear isn't food dammit
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
