she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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