theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
