I must be too annoying 4 u.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
