Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
