Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
