Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
