Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
