this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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