Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There r osticjed everywhere
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
