My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im holly from the hills drunk
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
