3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
