Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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