dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
