i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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