Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
