Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
