I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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