I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
