Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
