operation have a gay friend backfired
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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