dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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