I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
