My brain says no but my pants say off.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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