They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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