I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize