Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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