The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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