hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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