So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Mom said you looked used
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
