Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
