he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
