How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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