what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
