The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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