I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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