She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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