SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
