Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
farters have to be the big spoon...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
