His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
