So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
