im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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