Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
is that a dick in a sweater?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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