he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
