Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Pants are for mortals
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
