I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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