What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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