This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
