Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
