Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
