he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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