Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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