no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
