if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
