Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
