He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
